Glossier Phase 2 Review

Guest post by Whitney Gronski-Buffa

You know how sometimes magazines ask celebrities dumb questions? Of course you do. And if you’re like me, you’ve imagined yourself answering the same dumb questions after your inevitable big break.

Why yes, Oprah. It was quite a struggle to win a Pulitzer while struggling with a crippling fear of leaving voicemails. I am quite valiant, yes. Thank you.

Or something like that, right?

But there’s one requisite dumb celebrity question I always come back to: What one beauty product would you want with you on a desert island?

That’s a dumb question! The obvious answer is sunscreen, but someone always says “OMG, mascara” or, “Oooh, fractionated coconut oil for my split ends.” OK sure. But as dumb as it sounds, I’m always searching for my desert island products.

My morning routine is a lot like a desert island escape. I’m just trying to get out the door alive, looking a way that won’t have people asking me, “What’s wrong?” or “Are you tired?” I’m cramming my daughter’s limbs into sleeve and pant legs with toast hanging out of my mouth while Curious George cackles in the background. It’s all very Survivor. I need a life raft. I need those desert island products.

And Oprah, I’ve finally found my new favorites in Glossier Phase 2.

Here’s what I got and here’s why I like it.

First of all, look at this packaging. It’s gorgeous. My order came in a white box with a magnetic flap to keep it closed. The products, each in their own boxes, were in a pink bubble wrap zip-top bag. I got one in a previous Glossier order and used it as a travel cosmetics bag. They’re great.

Boy Brow (I ordered Brown) is a waxy, moldable brow pomade. It doesn’t leave your brows stiff or sticky, but it does hold them in place and give them some color. Sweep up and out through your arches, sip your coffee, and you’ll start to feel more pulled together already. You can hear the rescue plane in the distance.

Stretch Concealer (I ordered Light) is the concealer I’ve sought for many years. I apply mine over a bit of Clinique’s All About Eyes and this enhances the dewiness a bit, especially because I have the worst dry skin. If you’re on the oily side, I’m sure you’d be fine with the concealer alone. It’s not heavy or chalky. It looks like skin — why should this be shocking? — even in direct sunlight. Ya know, the type on deserted islands.

There’s also Generation G, Glossier’s super wearable lipstick. I ordered Jam, a berry purple that looks exactly like the name implies, because I wanted something a little different from that “your lips but better” look. I like this, but don’t love it. There’s no shimmer, which is good because I hate shimmery lips. It’s not long wearing, so you have to reapply often, and it tends to settle along the lip line and look like leftover lip liner. I wish it was more hydrating too! Despite all that, I keep using it because it’s pretty when it’s fresh. It’s been in my pocket and on my desk consistently since I bought it.

Now, Balm Dot Com is not in Phase 2, but you must order it. I’m on my second tube. I can’t go to bed without it. It’s very important to me! It’s thick and wavy without being greasy, and it’s very nourishing. I use it mostly on my lips, but during the winter I’ve used it on dry knuckles, troubling psoriatic patches and… um, it makes a great diaper rash ointment in an emergency. And knowing that probably reinforces that I’m not Glossier’s target IT girl customer. But this balm? I’d drown myself if I didn’t have it with me on that damn island.

They also sent a sample of the Priming Moisturizer, which was not hydrating enough for me. Not now. Like I said, mega dry skin, and since this is Michigan and the air is still dry and cold, I need something more heavy duty. I’ll try it again in the summer, because the texture is so silky and it did calm my redness, but I still had flakes and tightness. Ya win some, ya lose some.

So here’s my face. Glossier gave me a great selfie last Saturday, and honestly, what else is there in life? If I do end up stranded on a desert island, make sure this is the photo Nancy Grace uses when she questions my integrity as a mother every night for a year. Thanks, Glossier!

If you want to upgrade your morning routine, you and I could both benefit. Shop through this link — you’ll get 20 percent off, and I’ll get $10, which I’ll use to replace the Balm Dot Com that suffered this fate.

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Whitney Gronski-Buffa is a freelance reporter and stay-at-home mom. You can follow her on Twitter @whitneymae.